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About

Patrick Melton has always used his unique observations coupled with a quick, biting wit to make those around him laugh. With his skewed world view, he chooses not to see the glass as half empty, but rather half full – of poison. With a wry smile and an unapologetic delivery, he weaves real life stories with raw crowd interaction to give audiences a performance that is uniquely hilarious.

Originally from Florida, Patrick has been performing standup comedy for over ten years at venues around the world. After five years of calling Los Angeles a home base, Patrick has now relocated to New York City to focus more on standup and writing.

Patrick has performed and written for some of the best names in comedy, and in 2013 was named a national Semi-Finalist in Comedy Central’s Up Next competition. He has appeared on Sirius XM satellite radio, Comedy Central Radio, Spike TV, VH1, and The Bob & Tom Show. He’d probably love to do your podcast.

Patrick is the creator and host of the top-rated comedy internet radio show Nobody Likes Onions, available at nobodylikesonions.com. One of the longest-running comedy podcasts, Patrick and comedian guests from around the world  have been making listeners laugh since 2005. Each week he entertains tens of thousands of listeners worldwide through the award-winning program.

Patrick Melton

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Listen To My Podcast

NLO 1266:
Showdown in Spain

Vincent Valentine and comedian Celestian join Patrick for a show in Barcelona, Spain. Patrick tells the story of pissing off another comedian named George, resulting in a rumble on the Rambla. Celestian is a prodigy when it comes to not giving a fuck about promoting comedy shows, and also solving the Rubik’s cube very quickly. […]


Can't make a live show?

Purchase a copy of my CD "Casual Male" from iTunes instead!

Buy "Casual Male" on iTunes!

Buy "Casual Male" on iTunes!