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Patrick Melton has always used his unique observations coupled with a quick, biting wit to make those around him laugh. With a wry smile and an unapologetic delivery, he weaves real life stories with raw crowd interaction to give audiences a performance that is uniquely hilarious each time.

For almost two decades he has been entertaining crowds around the world through his standup comedy, podcast, radio programs, and festival shows. Originally from Florida, Patrick now lives in Las Vegas, NV – the big apple.

Patrick has performed and written for some of the most well-known names in comedy, and in 2013 he surpassed thousands of comedians to become a semi-Finalist in Comedy Central’s Up Next competition. He has created multiple sell-out shows while performing at the Edinburgh Fringe, Perth Fringe World, and Melbourne International Comedy festivals, and performed in the Middle East and Africa for the military. He has appeared on Sirius XM satellite radio, Comedy Central Radio, Spike TV, VH1, The Oprah Winfrey Network, and The Bob & Tom Show. He’d probably love to do your podcast.

Patrick is the creator and host of the award-winning comedy internet radio show Nobody Likes Onions, available at One of the longest-running comedy podcasts in existence, Patrick and comedian guests from around the world have been making listeners laugh since 2005.


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Listen To My Podcast

NLO 1308:
Funeral Cucks

Jozalyn Sharp, comedian and fellow “big picture” thinker joins Patrick in the studio for a show where everyone is too high. Patrick has decided to box up everything and move on to the next apartment, in light of recent and never-ceasing series of unfortunate events. Everything is broken. Kevin Hart has single-handedly broken the Oscars. […]

Can't make a live show?

Purchase a copy of my CD "Casual Male" from iTunes instead!

Buy "Casual Male" on iTunes!

Buy "Casual Male" on iTunes!