Sign up for my mailing list below. It only takes a few seconds, and I'll be sure to let you know what's going on with my exclusive list-only video blogs, downloads like ringtones and audio from recent shows, and giveaways from me and my sponsors. Every second you don't sign up, a panda dies in Brazil. I don't even think pandas live in Brazil.
Join The PMelt Mailing List


Looks like Google is working well.

Looks like Google is working well.

An Open Letter to Flappers Comedy Club

Last night I performed on my friend’s show in the Yoo Hoo Room at Flappers Comedy Club at 9:30pm. That friend was Flip Schultz, and the show was An Intimate Evening with Skippy Greene. I had rushed to make the show from Brea where I was doing a set on...

Listen To My Podcast

NLO 1087:
Vanilla Nights

Patrick is joined in the studio by Chip Chip Chris. The show is having difficulties with cameras and video, so the show looks like shit. Chip Chip and Patrick are pre-gaming beers for their trip to Rudy’s for beer and hot dogs. Patrick explains the recent lull in shows since moving to NYC. We talk […]



  • Dangerfields in NYC tonight at 8pm and headlining the Orlando Improv tomorrow night! about 4 hours ago
  • Finally finished my script for An American Tail 3: Feivel Grows Breasts! about 3 days ago
  • I love that the Discovery channel is now all poor toothless people digging for gold in the most unbearable climates. about 2 weeks ago
  • Have you ever thought about how colored candy shells can make you not seem like a maniac eating handfuls of chocolate? about 2 weeks ago
  • I react to pictures of your baby the same way most people react to large spiders. about 2 weeks ago