Sign up for my mailing list below. It only takes a few seconds, and I'll be sure to let you know what's going on with my exclusive list-only video blogs, downloads like ringtones and audio from recent shows, and giveaways from me and my sponsors. Every second you don't sign up, a panda dies in Brazil. I don't even think pandas live in Brazil.
Join The PMelt Mailing List
Patrick Melton

Listen To My Podcast

NLO 1308:
Funeral Cucks

Jozalyn Sharp, comedian and fellow “big picture” thinker joins Patrick in the studio for a show where everyone is too high. Patrick has decided to box up everything and move on to the next apartment, in light of recent and never-ceasing series of unfortunate events. Everything is broken. Kevin Hart has single-handedly broken the Oscars. […]

Videos

Twitter

  • I’m at Hot Water Comedy Club in Liverpool all this week. Come heckle me. I can’t understand your scouse accents anyway. about 6 months ago
  • I wish I could correct a sandwich artist at Subway when they fuck up my order with one-tenth the confidence of that… https://t.co/i7eXcdrksG about 6 months ago
  • ARKANSAS! Come see me headline six shows this week at the Loony Bin in Little Rock. I do a great Sarah Huckabee Sanders impression. about 8 months ago
  • RT @thedirtyat1230: Wow, what a night of great #Comedians! If you weren’t here you missed out! #DirtyBirds #Follow these #FunnyPeople @Rock… about 9 months ago
  • Just had an old woman kicked out of a bar for groping at me continuously and got so mad she pissed herself and the… https://t.co/kvTE6gKJ45 about 10 months ago

Facebook